I didn’t have kids so they could suffer. I didn’t have kids so they could watch their friends take piano and gymnastics lessons while they sat on the sidelines, too broke to pay for it. I didn’t have kids to we could live in a camper with no space to ourselves.
I had kids to give them everything I never got: lessons, experiences, vacations, trips, fun times, good memories, an easy life.
Yet, all they’ve had to far is hardship and turmoil.
I know they are still too young to care or notice much (the oldest being 6). Still, I KNOW and that’s all that really matters.
My husband can’t find a job. I can’t get my book accepted by an agent. We have no idea where we will live in February. Nothing.
My husband is angry. He feels the same as I do. He doesn’t want to move…AGAIN. Who does?
He’s lost faith in God who doesn’t seem to answer and at times he’s lost the will to live.
Uncertainty is hard to face…especially since we’ve been through so much of it in the last couple of years. We’ve declared bankruptcy, lost everything, moved several times chasing jobs that we thought would last…and at the same time left our hopes and dreams behind us in the wind.
Neither one of us really know how much more we can take. Further, the weekend is here (meaning no calls from prospective employers) and it will be hard to get through.
Life is hard right now and I know we aren’t alone…but it sure does feel like it most of the time.
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