I am at a crossroads. Down one path is a continuation of my current existence – job, stress, frustration, familiarity, financial comfort. Down the other path is something new – unknown, risky, freeing, testing. Though I am entirely fed up with my job, it is still what I know, and I continue to allow the abuse. The fear of the unknown is almost worse.
But I am reminded of C.S. Lewis’ take on progress. Progress is getting nearer to what you want, and if you’ve taken a wrong turn, it is more progressive to turn around and walk back to the right road than to continue forging ahead in the wrong direction.
I do feel like I’ve ended up on the wrong path, but I’m not even sure I know where the right road is. So turning around? That’s scary. Unknown. Somewhat directionless. But continuing on? That’s hurtful. I don’t know how much more I can take at my job. But I know it. I know the hurt; I can cope with the hurt.
My thinking seems backwards. Staying, making excuses. But still wanting something different. Change. Value.
I am at a crossroads. I am caught in the middle. I want guidance, direction, faith. To leave the familiar takes faith. It is stepping out into the unknown. It is trusting the outcome to Someone else, even if that’s God! The control is out of my hands. I am called to have faith. To step out. Take a leap of faith, trusting that God catches us when we fall. Trusting that something bigger and better is after leaping. Trusting enough to jump when it’s into an unknown.
That’s scary. But it’s also needed. Because I do want progress, and leaping into the unknown might be the best way back to the right path.
Little do you know, I have many, many things to talk about. I’ve got a good number of drafts prepared already.
Just. You. Wait.
I’ve got just a bit of time, though, so I’ve selected what might be one of the easiest drafts to elaborate on.
This week has been a difficult one at work. I’m employed at a place called C-Systems Software. We supply blank invoices, shop work order forms, envelopes, printer ribbons yadda yadda, and (of course) software. Our software is really our specialty, as it was created by us. We supply an inventory and sales software to power equipment companies.
I’m the shipper/receiver of the company, so I rarely dabble in anything other than processing orders and receiving PO’s. But it’s been a bit difficult to do even that this week.
See, the top dogs decided it was time we update our phone system. Because of this, all the wires and chords and log-ins… pretty much everything that enables us to do our jobs, has been on the fritz. Nothing has worked properly, or for very long at a time.
I suppose it’s because of this that I’ve been allowed to go on some field-trips this week. Yesterday I took the company truck to get it’s inspection renewed. I drove about fifteen minutes down the highway to a shady place called “Ten Minute Inspection”. Shady, but the employees there were nice anyways. (But it was a twenty minute inspection, so really they should have offered me a discount…) Anyways, it was a nice trip to take in-between much frustration of not being able to do my job.
Today I went on another trip, this time with the lady in accounting, to SAM’S Club. We needed some new snacks for the vending machine, TP for the bathrooms, and gasoline for the previously inspected truck.
Today’s trip to SAM’S was shorter than the last- only about an hour. But it’s nice to get out for even that amount of time, especially when Kathy (aforementioned lady in accounting) likes to take her time and look for some personal buys.
You know, I once even got to go to Frye’s to get some hard drives that were on sale…
So I’ve come to the conclusion that being the “little guy” of a company really isn’t that bad. A lot of times people misperceive the job of the little guy as one full of tedious jobs that the “big guys” don’t want to do. And that is true, in a way. It’s not my idea of fun to change ceiling tiles that have become stained and moldy due to water leaks. Nor do I enjoy replacing 6 foot long light bulbs in slots that are so old, the bulbs have been known to slip and go crashing to the floor.
But just when the week gets ridiculous, when not even I, the one with least amount of work to do (excluding the receptionist) can do his job, I get called upon to take a trip. To do something outside of the work place. To get some fresh air. To see sun. To escape the confines of a cubicle and set my sights on something other than a computer screen.
Being the little guy has it’s perks.
If you’re low on the totem pole like myself, but without the pleasures of a few field trips, then I’m sorry. Next time you’re asked to put lights in the “EXIT” signs, offer to pick up some more. Just in case those puppies don’t last.
I have an awesome idea for a reality TV project, but I don’t know the first thing about how to bring it to fruition or how to get it produced. What’s my first move?
Dear Judge Jillian Bachelor:
First things first . . . The term “Reality” is so 2000 and late. “2000 and late,” however, is still totally far out. “Reality” is now referred to as “Non-scripted.”
Okay, then. Development executives, as a collective, have heard it all; one of their top priorities is filling their calendars with (a large number of non-scripted) pitches.
ANGLE ON DESK CALENDAR – “Mtg w/J. Kamp. SOS (Same Old Shit). 3:45-3:50PM. Btr brng vnla latte.”
Your first move is certain: Make sure that your awesome idea is not simply awesome, but also original! Otherwise, you are wasting everybody’s time and spinning your wheels. Selling “The Littlest Groom” takes contacts and kick-backs.
If you want to see fat chicks lose weight on a farm instead of a ranch, forget it.
Guy marrying a girl for her parents’ money (which he’s totally not gonna get in the end – oh, snap!)? Next.
Young hookers and idiot meat-heads trying to act on a show called “Next”? An additional example please.
A black-belt jujitsu pro and wild-animal trainer, who lives on the Oregon Trail with wolves during the week and wins tournaments on the weekends? It’s all been done. They’ve heard it al- Wait a minute. That one has NOT been done. And that’s what you’re after, my friend. Check. Yo. Self.
If you are friends with that guy, who is television-ready and hasn’t been mauled in the last four years, you may have yourself an awesome and original idea. Find that guy . . .
So winter quarter is about to end. I just got out of my last official class of the quarter. I have a 9am crit on Monday morning for my Flash website, and I have to pass in a cardboard chair as well.. and see if it will hold my teacher.. but other than that. I’m done.
I’m having a love/hate relationship with the end of this quarter. I’m glad to be through with the work, but I’m a little sad to see the boy leave. Again, I’m trying not to be too attached because there are so many ways this could all go horribly wrong.. or just generally not work out, but I’m also be optimistic.
This quarter has been a weird one. I definitely learned a lot from my classes and the projects I had to do. I even like some of my work enough to be motivated to fix my portfolio and apply for summer jobs. I thought I wasn’t going to try to get a real job this summer, but I decided if I can get more experience and get paid.. then I should probably try for that. If not I’ll probably bounce back and forth from Roc to DC. Work at financial aid here for a few weeks then go back down there and party until I run out of money.. haha.
The quarter was weird for me socially too. My life is a little different now, and I don’t do different well, but I’m working on it. I have a few stable elements in my social life, so I’m just holding on to those and letting the rest work itself out.
I’ll probably do a post with some of my projects from the quarter soon.. or if I’m really ambitious I’ll get my portfolio updated and post that.
02/01/2310
My phones back on! My phones back on! My phones back on!
Well, its been on for a little while, but not long enough to fully bask in its reactivated glory before acquiring job number four. I’ll get to that in a nano, though, I have a comment or two about resurrected my texti first.
I must say I was strikingly disappointed at how anti-climactic the procedure of turning it on ended up being. After the payment processed electronically, a single message was sent to my email confirming the receiving of adequate funds. Then nothing.
No cascade of backed up text messages overflowing my inbox. No lost voice messages appearing again out of the ether. No new video messages unwatched and awaiting my moderation. After three months, nothing was saved in any sort of backup server by my carrier service, though I’d hoped desperately to see what anyone trying to contact me had wanted, or said discovering my unavailability. What’s lost is lost, though.
Sorry, I’ve digressed. The point of this transmission is to let you know my about my most recent occupation, and the physical hardships that accompany it.
Today is my third day on the job as a removalist. Not professional by any means; I may have the stamina and the creativity to perform well, but I hardly possess the fortitude or even strength needed to make a living out of moving people’s personal belongings. I guess you could say its more of a PBO gig, though I’m not really the owner of what I move either.
I’ve been helping the Magnate family in their hastened exodus from Newport Beach. Packing, lifting, carrying, loading, unloading, carrying again, setting down and unpacking. The past 50 hours or so have been expended with this seemingly never ending process of transplanting the delicate furniture and personal effects that have surrounded them for years.
I’m in the middle of distributing the cases and cardboard boxes containing most of that matter to the various quarters they belong to. I don’t have much time before the final large load comes and the rental carryall needs to be returned, so I won’t go into too much detail. But since today was the first day they actually had keys to get inside their new home, the bulk of the moving has been done in he past few hours.
The fridge, beds, gigantic teli screen and baby grand piano were all moved already today, just to name a few of the larger things. The kind of ancient baby grand piano that weighs at least a ton and requires a whole gang of people to carry. The kind of fridge that could be oozing with deadly Freon as we speak. And the kind of television that can’t be laid flat, it has to remain upright to prevent the light crystals from resettling.
To ensure it’s safety, I had to ride in the cargo bay of the carryall with a full load of the heaviest items. It wasn’t a particularly intimidating task at first sight, it even kind of looked comfy in there, on top of a pad of pillows and blankets between a vertical stack of mattress and the precious teli screen. I brought my texti, to keep in contact with the much safer riders in the cabin, and an old scratched up tuni that I used in lieu of a proper, more modern media player. The 7-mile trip wouldn’t be too long, I was mostly only afraid of being bored along the way.
It started off calm enough. It was a nice break from the lifting–nestled into a stack of comforters–I almost felt like sleeping, I was so relaxed. Well, ‘was’ being the pivotal word there. It wasn’t long at all into the drive that the already loosely packed contents of the giant, silvery hold began to gyrate and jostle about. That massive king-sized headboard looming above my head looked more menacing with each bump and dip in the road.
The speed picked up. I wouldn’t really even say we were traveling that quickly, just a little bit above the pace we’d maintained on what I assumed were the neighborhoods and side streets. Nonetheless, a jolt of feeble acceleration informed me that we were on a freeway. The heavy, wooden bed piece above sagged further into impending view. I sighed, knowing I couldn’t wait for the Magnates in the cabin to bring the cumbersome truck to a halt; I’d have to act on it quickly.
Metal wobbled and wood creaked around me. As I moved into position, a mattress close by shifted and let loose the Damocles headboard it kept upright. So much for getting ready, I leapt forward and threw my weight against the falling object before it could come crashing down on the fragile cargo. I hoped I was sturdier than the silicon and plastic I’d sworn to protect.
For the rest of the trek I sat perched against it, pinning the huge piece of wood against the forward end of the cargo hold. It seemed like forever before the harrowing journey came to an end, and at long last the rental truck stopped. That is, before it pulled away from the Martian-run strawberry stand on the side of the road and continued to our final destination.
I’d love to be able to just lay down right now and sleep. There’s so many more things to carry and so many stairs between where they need to go. If only there were some way that I could recharge and lift at the same time, but there aren’t any that I know of. Instead I’ll just push through the hunger and the delirium a little longer until someone comes to relieve me. And they better hurry up soon, otherwise there won’t be anything left for them to move.
Wait, I think I hear air breaks squeaking outside. That must be Mr. Magnate with his final load, I better go help them get it off the truck before I can even think about setting anything else down.
Title : BIOGAS QUALITY INSPECTOR (BI)
Duty Station : Malang, Yogyakarta, Bandung
Responsible to : Biogas Provincial Coordinator
Coordinates with IDBP Program staff at national level, Hivos Program Officer, Technical Advisors, support staff, Provincial and District Government and partners
Duration : March 1, 2010 to 30 September 2010 (extension possible)
Closing date : 20 February 2010
Since 15 May 2009, Hivos is running the Indonesia Domestic Biogas Programme. This programme is undertaken in close cooperation with SNV Netherlands Development organisation.
The overall objective of the proposed national programme on domestic biogas in Indonesia is to disseminate domestic bio-digesters as a local, sustainable energy source through the development of a commercial, market oriented sector in selected provinces.
The Provincial Biogas Programme Offices of the Indonesia Domestic Biogas Programme are main players in the development of the biogas sector in their respective provinces. Each provincial office will have a team that implements the programme, together with other local stakeholder organisations and local governments. The leading person in the Provincial Biogas Programme Office (PBPO) is the Provincial Biogas Coordinator (PBC) whereas there will be other staff as well. One of the positions in the team is Biogas Quality Inspector (BI). Under the close supervision of PBC and instruction of Biogas Technical Officer (BTO) from National Biogas Program Support Office (NBPSO) in Jakarta, the BI takes the responsibility of quality construction of biogas plants and necessary technical backstopping to the CPO staff. Major responsibilities include maintaining quality of plant construction, technical training to the staff and technical monitoring of the plants. The scope of the activities can be detailed more in-depth as follows:
• Take the responsibility of maintaining quality plant construction and after-sales services by CPOs;
• Visit plant construction sites regularly. All plants constructed in the assigned province needs to be visited for quality control;
• Fill up quality control forms correctly and accurately and send to NBPSO for records;
• Take immediate action if plants are not constructed as per approved standards;
• Address the issue of any technical problems faced by users or report it to BTO;
• Provide feedbacks/ advices regularly to CPO staff and masons on technical improvement;
• Follow exactly the instruction and process of quality control and reporting system approved by NBPSO;
• Arrange/ provide mason/supervisors training in the provinces coordinating local CPOs;
• Provide reports and/or any feedbacks to PBS and BTO on technical matters;
• Act as biogas technical focal person in the province;
• Carry any other assignment as and when requires.
Requirements
• D3 Degree in civil engineering;
• At least two years of experience working in construction, supervision, training or similar jobs;
• Able to frequent field visit and driving motorcycle;
• Good communication / human relation skills ;
• Biogas experience (desired);
Information
Applicants should send a CV and a cover letter to: hrd@hivos.or.id with reference code ‘vac BI Biogas’. Applications are requested by 20 February 2010; thereafter the position will remain open until filled. This post open for Indonesian nationality only.
Only shortlisted candidates will be contacted.
Theme: No matter what you do, do it to serve God and others.
Scripture: John 13: 3-5
Most kids have an idea what job they might like to have. Do you? Some jobs look like they would be more fun than others. Perhaps you’d like to be a pilot, or a race car driver. Would you like to care for animals, or sell ice cream, or build houses, or work in a bakery? There are so many different jobs and we’re very fortunate in our country to be able to choose whatever job we want. Some jobs involve hard work; others require many years of training and education. Some bring lots of money, some make you famous. Some jobs are hardly ever recognized. What sort of job would you like?
What do you think would be the best job in the whole world? Being a professional football player, who makes a lot of money? Or would you like to be a movie star, who is rich and famous? Or the President of the United States who has an Army, Navy and an Air Force all ready to do what he orders? What about being God? He’s the master of the universe.
What do you think is the worst job in the world? Cleaning bathrooms? Collecting trash? Or perhaps being a shoe salesman who has to deal with smelly feet all day.
Feet can become very dirty, can’t they? Especially when you wear sandals or no shoes at all, and where there are no paved streets, just dirt roads. The people of Jesus’ time had a way to deal with dirty feet. The family servant would wash the feet of those who came to visit for dinner. It was a dirty, smelly, unpleasant job.
But, Jesus, who was the Son of God, knelt un front of his friends, and washed their feet. He had the best job in the world and the worst. When he finished washing his followers’ feet, he told them, “You call me Teacher and Lord, and so I am. If I then, your Lord and Teacher has washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.”
No matter what job you choose to do, when you do it with a servant’s heart, you are richly rewarded in God’s kingdom.
